Inside a Turtle's Journal
by FirecrackerCelica
Summary: A certain blue banded turtle gets bored and starts to write something on a hardbound notebook with a black cover. Inside this notebook are his forlorn secrets, as well as the joyful ones. Read and enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I have nothing to say. Just read and enjoy! Don't forget to review, fave or follow if you like! I would totally love to hear (read) your insights! **

_**-'":;!?,. **_

_I am not an open person, as everyone sees in me. My brothers, sensei and our human friends- I do even have a secret to hide. Sometimes, or as often, I keep my feelings to myself, and share it to no one but me. Not that I am being selfish, but I just don't want my family to be hurt. It would rather be me to carry my burden. I have a mix of sadness, envy, anger and hatred; all inside of me that I couldn't release. If I try to let some of it, I won't forgive myself. _

_Why am I writing this anyway? I asked my self. Maybe it's time to give some of my feelings a way out of me. A little space for me to breathe. _

_It's been almost four months since we stayed here in April's farmhouse. The house is pretty decent, enough to shelter the six of us, an ice cream kitty, and a genius chicken. We have supplies of food for the every day that comes. And this is, so far, the safest place for us to stay. Mutant weeds, frogs and beavers, cross those to the list of safe stuffs. _

_Three months of darkness; the longest time I ever had to left my brothers. I couldn't even imagine them being alone without me and sensei. Was that hit very much for me to handle? Shredder. His name creates a twist inside my gut. How did he...defeated sensei? Master Splinter is a lot better than him. Not if he thought I was gone. Not if Shredder told that I was gone, then sensei must have been...affected by that. _

_Everyday, I pray for sensei's safety at New York. I never thought of him, being gone. He's a ninja master and he will survive. _

_We have left New York in the hands of the Kraang and the Foot Clan. The city is a disaster, I can imagine. My brothers still did not tell me the whole story of the Kraang's invasion. But I overheard that April's dad is mutated once more. How about the others? The people living in the city. Karai. What happened to her? Is she alright? _

_I remembered the night she was mutated. It was...a very painful sight to see. I heard her scream. She was screaming for her life. She was...asking for some help. But before that happened, she had a chance to say the sweetest thanks to me... Her smile was the brightest I had ever seen. But still, I failed. I failed to save her. _

_Am I really a failure to my family? Do I even deserve to be the leader? I had failed them this time. And I will never let that happen again. Even of it is the last thing I do. I have to be their big brother. And a big brother will do whatever it takes to get his little brothers to safety. I promise that to myself. And to my family. I will do the role of Fearless Leader, even if it kills me._

_This journal is really helpful, thanks to April. She gave it to me yesterday, when she saw me writing a short story about the city on a scratch paper. I really love writing and I do even have a notebook inside my room at the burned lair, with all of my poems and stories. I think it turned into ash when the lair was destroyed, together with my sketch pad. Aww. It hurts when I remember it. All of my very important possessions are there, especially Karai's tanto. Did I say it aloud? _

_It's time to start a new. Time to wake up from this nightmare. Time to face the new days of our precious lives. I need to be strong for my family and we need to claim our city. We need to save people and the other innocents. Sensei. Karai. _

"Leeeo! It's lunch time! We're going to eat all of these goodies if you won't get out of your room! In ten...nine." "I'm coming, Mikey! Wait a second!"

_Mikey's calling me to eat, I gotta go and stop at this part. It is also my turn to wash the dishes. See ya! _


	2. Chapter 2

_A loud roar of thunder had awaken me from a very sweet sleep. I had no choice, but to forcefully pull myself out to bed and stretch out. Since the inconsiderate thunder woke me up, I wouldn't be able to get back my comfy sleep. The moment I stretched out my legs, darn I forgot that my right knee wasn't good enough. I hissed in pain, and bit the insides of my cheek. I had no choice but to lay myself back on to bed and wait for the pain to subside._

_I turned my head to the right, where the window was located. The sunlight wasn't there which meant that it was still evening or early morning. I stretched out my hand from where I remembered I placed a clock, (made especially by Donnie) and checked the time; 3:30 am. Yes, too early. _

_I carefully sit upright, trying not to hurt my leg. I picked up my wooden crutch from my side and used this to help me stand up. There wasn't any force that I had placed on my right leg, so nothing hurtful happened. I limply...went beside the window and opened it. The woods were still there, of course, but the sky was a bit reddish. I sniffed the air as I felt a cold breeze. The wind made the trees dance, that some of their leaves fell flawlessly on the grassy ground. Lightnings dominated the sky, which were followed by the rumbling sounds of thunders; a heavy downpour was coming. _

_I closed the creaky window and carefully sat back to the bed. I placed my trusty crutch leaning on the wall. My eyes captured my journal, so I started to write this._

_I'm still curious. Curious and at the same time, afraid. I'm curious about what happened to my brothers and my friends while I was out cold, fighting for my life. I'm afraid of what will I learn once I hear their stories. _

_I am still not sure...if I can lead my brothers again. My knee always ruins everything I do and it seemed like...it became my weakness, which I shouldn't have. I don't want my remaining family to see me like this; weak, vulnerable...helpless. Maybe this is the right time to declare someone excluding me to lead the team. I am not much of a help anyway._

_I shortly paused from writing, because I heard someone mumbling under my bed. I placed my jounal on top of my pillow and the ballpen beside it. I didn't think that the sound was from a monster. I've grown enough not to believe to things like that. But out of curiosity, I crept to the left side of my bed, and hung the half part of my body to peek under it. _

_My heart almost jumped out of my chest. Instead of seeing a monster that eats you while you're asleep, I saw a snoring face of my brother. I screeched at Raph's face, enough to wake him up from his slumber. You couldn't blame me for yelling like that. Seeing someone like that under your bed is really out of this world._

_He opened his eyes immediately, and saw my shocked expression. I could imagine myself that time -my eyes were really big out of terror and my mouth was opened wide, my tongue comically waving like an ecstatic seaweed. Raph screamed as well, like what would anyone do. As expected, I scream back at him, and he as well. The screaming went on like forever until I lost my balance and crashed painfully to the floor, my head hitting the wooden floor first, followed by my entire body. _

_That fall gave me a pain big time, especially that my leg wasn't prepared. I really thought that my leg was already broken. _

_I yelped in pain, and I quickly sat upright, holding my knee. The fall didn't give my other parts pain, but it gave my knee a new set of misaligned bones. I heard Raph gasp as he quickly rushed towards me. He even hit his head while he was creeping out of his sleeping place. _

_"Leo! Where?! Where's the pain?!" He said, hastily._

_I should've answered him sarcastically, but my knee ached like hell. I bit my bottom lip and squeezed my knee, trying to ease the pain. _

_"You're really a dork Leo! Why were you there?!" Raph shouted, while he was carefully setting my leg straight._

_"This is where I sleep, Raph. Who would have expected that someone would sleep under his bed," I muttered, as I frowned. _

_Who is the dork between us? Me, who is happily writing on my dear diary, or him, suddenly mumbling under my bed? _

_Raph sighed and frowned back at me. "Does it hurt?" _

_I rolled my eyes, but then I realized that my leg didn't hurt anymore. I scoffed and placed my 'I'm older than you' poker face. "What were you doing there, huh?" _

_Instead of answering my question, he grabbed my right arm and placed it on the back of his neck, supporting me to stand up._

_"Hey!" I complained. I can stand on my own, so why did he have to carry me like that?_

_"Stand up. I'll carry 'ya," He demanded, like my authority as the eldest around here was ignored. I frowned, but I decided to swallow my pride. I didn't want to stay on the floor sitting, since I didn't have my crutch beside me. I stretched out my left leg carefully, before my right leg. Raph stood up, and placed me on the bed in a sitting position. My bum leg was folded instantly, given my position, so once again, I yelped in pain._

_Raph was worried again and he sat beside me. He reluctantly placed a hand on my back and waited for me to finish wincing. It was clearly shown in his face that he was worried and sick, like if he did something, I would disappear. I frowned at him, as I felt sweat trickling down from my forehead._

_"You still haven't answered my question," I once again gathered a steady voice, staring against his emerald eyes; doing my trick. I continued to stare at him until he gives up and decides to answer me, which didn't fail at once._

_"Fine." He sighed and dropped his shoulders as he rolled his eyes to his right side. _

_"I slept beside you last night, just to be sure that you were okay," He said, like it was the most embarrassing sentence ever constructed. _

_I raised my brow, telling him to go on. _

_"Then... You pushed me out of your bed, you selfish dork," Raph frowned at me. "I fell down and decided to sleep on the floor without any blankets or pillows; you cannot imagine how cold it was, fearless," Raph crossed his arms and turned away from me, frowning. _

_I couldn't stop myself from chuckling, because of what Raph said. After a long period of chuckles, I ended up laughing so loud. While I was laughing endlessly, my rib started to hurt, forcing me to stop. _

_"Silly! You should have wake me up!" _

_"Hmph. You snore so loud that I was embarrassed to wake you up," _

_I smirked, then punched him playfully on his arms. "Thank you for...your concern," I stared at him with pure seriousness in my eyes. I want him to realize that I really appreciate his efforts. I couldn't even imagine how he managed to stay strong for all those months. Raphael is really strong. Whether from the inside, or outside of him._

_Suddenly, several knocks almost broke my eardrums and the poor door. "Who is it?" _

_"Leo, is everything alright there?" It was April._

_"We heard you scream," Donnie followed. _

_I rolled my eyes and turned at Raph. I saw him shaking his head. I frowned and sighed. "Uh, yeah of course! I'm doing fine, I just read a horror book that almost spilled the heck out of me, no need to worry!" I smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of my head._

_"Okay. In that case, we'll go back," April said, as I heard her and Donnie walk away._

_I turned back to Raph. "So you don't wanna be ashamed by them, seeing you here," My eyes almost popped out from their sockets when I saw what Raph was about to do._

_"Well, you don't wanna be ashamed as well when they see this," He said as he started to flip a page of my Journal. I almost punched and kicked him out of the room, but my sanity won, so I just quickly grabbed the notebook out of his hand. I was too fast, because of the panic so he didn't catch up. _

_"Don't. You. Dare. Look. Upon. This!" I said sternly, as I stood up without hurting my broken leg. I glared at him as I point the door, telling him to go away as fast as he could before I explode. _

_He smirked and slowly walked towards the door. "I will have the chance to take a peek at that notebook soon, mark my word, Lame-o-nardo," He said teasingly as he opened the door and finally walked out of my room. I frowned and shut the door close. _

_Being utterly surprised, I let out an annoyed growl and glared at the door, wanting it to melt. I looked at the notebook at my hand and hardened my gaze even more. _

_There is no way in hell I would let anyone take a look inside of this mighty notebook. _

_I let out a tired sigh and threw my journal to the bed. Now what! I just stood there idly, like when I start to walk, the floor would crumble down. I just felt nervous of my damned leg. _

_Carefully, I stretched out my left leg, slowly as I gently placed all the weights of my body onto it before quickly assisting it with my right. I literally dragged myself onto the bed, with several grunts. _

_I swear to Tartarus that I will protect the well-being of my dear diary._

**Sorry guys, for the super late update. Ya' know. I lost the spirit. **

**Anyway. I hope you enjoyed. I know that Season 3 has already ended (which for me is an absurd and ridiculous ending), and this fic has no glimpse of even the first episode. But, meh. Deal with it.**


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